Can I get feedback on this draft of my first video, for my first course?

This is a low-res draft of the first lecture in my first forthcoming course, Mastering the Art of Balance: Staying Sane in an Insane World.

Is it engaging? How could I improve it?

Before I learn to use Camtasia editor, tinker with the audio in Audacity, add graphics, and wear the clothes I'll actually be wearing when I shoot the real thing, I wanted to get feedback on my presentation and the general quality of the content and the audio and video footage.

Thanks for any feedback!
David

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Comments

SharonRamel

Staying sane in an insane world would be a great line to start with. You warmed to the task as you moved along - this is simply being more relaxed infront of the camera. Video 2 has more impact. Does the "System" have a name? Or is it the art of balance? You sem to repeat yourself is slightly different ways. "Wipe the word overwhelmed from your vocabulary" - strong sentance - Pull it apart and synthesise it into the essentials. This is a great first up effort. You do look a bit worried - this can again be a lack of ease in front of the camera.

Yes I too put way too many words into my promos and intros...... it has taken me way to long while to wake up to the fact that potential students will only give you a few seconds and if you dont make an impact in those seconds they are gone.

Good luck with your course.

Make sure you check out your competition in your genre - really study the CLP's and free vids by top sellers like Natalie and Joeel Rivera, Gregory Caremans for example.

KevalDomadia

I am not an instructor yet but I do coach people.

This is my personal observation and feedback is as follows.

Improvement area:

1. After 21st second, the voice becomes like a man, a mortal human. You may want to sound consistent.

2. Between 1:29 - 1:31, try to sound persuasive and tone it when you say - It's a system.

I believe that is the key to the whole course - you are selling 'a system'. Try to sound... umm... like Jordan Belfort style - sales high-pitched-slow-motion-whispering tone. Get me?

3. Between 2:47 - 2:49, that lip wetting, please try not do that.

Awesome area:

1. Your voice between 0 to 20 seconds is thick and grandfather / wise-zen - ly. Which immediately caught my attention and wanted me to look up to you for real advices - which is exactly what you are giving out.

2. Your introduction in the end is modest and humble, no brags, love it. 10/10...

3. I would DEFINITELY look up for this course and also recommend it to my mates. Because the initial video gives a feeling that this course will be a life changer.

4. You "feel" like a genuine human. Remember, people buy feelings and not just products. You got 10/10 for that. If you are just being yourself, that is a 10/10, straight up!

DavidBookbinder

Thanks so much for your feedback. Interestingly, I was advised by two other people to skip those first 20 or so seconds, so I'm glad they caught your attention. Also thanks for the close viewing. I'll check out the two specific areas you mentioned. And I'll remember to drink some wter before I record this again!

DavidBookbinder

Thanks for the sage advice, and also for the competition. I hadn't looked at their videos, though I have looked at a couple of others who seem, to me, to be competition in my genre.

One quick question: What do you mean by "Video 2 has more impact"?

AliciaPaz

I agree with much of this feedback, overall I really like your style, voice, and presence. As Sharon said I would like to know what this is called, for me something concrete would be great over lots of concept chat.

It's a bit long, ideally, my interest for an intro is 2-2.5 minutes
I would like your bio to come in sooner, knowing you are a therapist (me too!) would make me buy your course as it solidified your place as an expert in your field.
I dug a little deeper and although you asked for feedback on your video may I suggest you update your website or create a separate one for driving traffic to Udemy. Most of my sales come from my website via social media and I notice you have no social media links on your and your site is a bit dated looking. I would love to sign up for updates for your course as this is up my alley and I would gladly refer people to other mental health professionals on Udemy, but there is no e-mail sign up on your site.

Overall I think you strike a good (and difficult balance) of being professional and not rigid but very knowledgable and likable. Also, I will be totally okay with being alone on this as I work with a different population than most, but I avoid the word crazy for various reasons, although I know that is also your book title so it makes sense brand-wise.

DavidBookbinder

Thank you, Alicia. Really helpful response and advice. I'll reorder the information and probably break this into two lectures, eventually.

The one thing I'm not clear on yet is what you and Sharon are looking for in terms of a name for the system. I'm gathering that you would both like me to create one. It has an acronym, DEPRIM, the first letter of the of each of the six steps I'll be teaching, but that doesn't exactly roll off the tongue. I'll have to think about what to call it, as I can see that having a name for it (like Schwartz's "Internal Family Systems," or Kabat-Zinn's "Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction) would be good for brand-building.

Thanks for digging deeper. I haven't gotten to building a website for courses yet, though I will, and will redesign my practice website, too. There are signups on my publishing and blog sites. At the time, years ago, that I built the practice site, I didn't even have an email list, and I haven't taken the time to redesign it. The more recent sites are transformationspress.org, flowermandalas.org, and phototransformations.com

I find it hard to do more than one side project at a time, while I'm still seeing clients, and learning to make a simple video but have it look professional and equal to my peers is a big learning curve for me. But I will get to it. Thanks for the suggestions.

As for "crazy," I avoid using that word, too, except in one lecture, where it's part of the name of a tool I use but didn't develop. People with mental health issues don't like to be called crazy. But, saying that the world is insane, as in the course and book titles, doesn't seem to offend anyone, at least not anyone I've worked with.

And thanks, in advance, for your offer to refer people to the course! I'm curious about how you came to work with the populations you work with (and I can see why "crazy" would be an insensitive word to use in those contexts). In my case, I started with college-age artists and then worked mainly with heroin addicts on methadone, and I still have a lot of artist and addict clients (sometimes both in the same person), though I also work with a broad spectrum of issues.

I think I'm going to like being part of this instructor community. People are so helpful and kind. I suppose it makes sense - we're all in the profession of wanting to help people - but it's nice to actually start to experience it.

Best,

David

DavidBookbinder

PS: Actually, it seems to me I already do have a name, I just need to emphasize it and give it an acronym. It's "The Art of Balance" (AOB), or perhaps "The Art of Balance Six-Step System," though I prefer the former. If I introduce it as "The Art of Balance Six-Step System" and then refer to it afterwards as The Art of Balance or AOB, would that satisfy the need for a name, from a student point of view?

Thanks again,

David

LawrenceMMiller

I agree with all that has been said before so I won't repeat.

But, about your title and subtitle. Ask yourself who is going to be on the Udemy platform and searching, using a search word, that will cause the search to land on my course? If the title is "The Art of Balance", for example, what is the keyword in that title that someone will be search for? I think the answer is none. It is essential that your title contain the key words that will bring people to your course.

DavidBookbinder

Thanks. This is an issue I have thought long and hard about, and you're right. The problem, for me, is that "The Art of Balance" is the name of the system and, essentially, my brand-to-be. I have loaded the landing page with other words people might think of, but I dont' know if that will make the course show up in searches for things like "stress," "anxiety," "relationships," and other keywords.

Do you know if having these in the subtitle and/or course description will also cause the course to show up in searches? Or do they have to be in the title only?

Thanks,

David

LawrenceMMiller

No one knows exactly how the search algorhythm works, but... defnitely in the title and subtitle you need key words. I am not sure that the search picks things up from your description. Consider "Stress and The Art of Balance"; or "Reduce Anxiety with the Art of Balance", or something that gets those key words in there.

What I am pretty sure of is that the word "Art" and "Balance" will not bring you the customers you want.

AliciaPaz

David,

Thanks for your thorough response. Use the name, although it's also the name of a medication to treat IUDs...but for me and my clients I would likely want to know what exactly I am learning in a very elevator speech way. I teach DBT, so that's easy to do. Give it a name, create it as a brand and mention it early in the video.

I work full-time with mostly houseless, severely mentally ill and those with illicit substance use, although my Udemy courses bring a very different population.

Sounds like adding a name to your method, keeping it short and adding social media when you can in to will help your course along. The video quality is very well-done.

Good Luck,

DavidBookbinder

Thanks. I'll think about how to do this concisely. I may just use what's in the course description, which includes some bullet points I could also add as text. I really appreciate your help.

David

DavidBookbinder

Thanks, I'll think about how best to title it. I've become attached to the title of the book the course is based on, but I can see how it wouldn't fly in this context, where I don't have the ability to target my students the way I can target readers with ads.

McCleish868

Great start, would certainly like to see more. As someone mentioned earlier, you give off a type of "yoda" type feel in your delivery.

DavidBookbinder

Thanks! (I think the yoda delivery was a good thing, right?)

... Except at times I do try, not do. :smileywink:

Pallavi_Khurana

Hi,

Really like your calm and composed style of talking.

I feel the sound quality could be more consistent.

Overall a great video.

DavidBookbinder

Thanks! I haven't tweaked the audio yet, but I'm learning how to do so. However, I'm an older guy with some hearing issues.

You can probably pick up issues I can't hear!

What kinds of sound inconsistencies are you noticing that I might either fix in post processing or do differently in the initial recording?

Thanks again,

David